Tuesday 06 August 2002

Intensity blues

Jeff Ward wrote (in the context of recalling his relationship with his former wife):

They tell me at school that my ability to focus on things so intensely is part of what makes me “a natural scholar”— but the more I think about it, the more I realize that this quality also makes me “a natural asshole.”

Is a particular kind of person attracted towards the kind of intensity that Jeff describes? I share Jeff’s ability to focus on things intensely and I wonder if the women who’ve been a part of our lives had hoped that this intensity would be focused on them—instead of photography, writing, music, and goodness knows what else.

Are there multitudes who are disappointed and frustrated when they meet and fall in love with someone whose attention is directed towards a passion other than “the relationship”? Or just a few? Is it possible to calibrate intensity? Can one predict that relationships between people with roughly the same “intensity coefficient” will be more successful than those between couples whose intensities are drastically out of balance?

Most of the inhabitants of our small Blogarian province appear to be in stable, committed relationships. Perhaps it’s because they’ve discovered the art or craft of keeping their (respective) intensties in check…



Damn you, Jonathon. I'm in the middle of a Big Important Blogpost which I've put off for weeks, and now you blog *this*, which I am simply going to be *forced* to respond to.

Bleagh. Bleagh, I tell you!


Posted by: Dorothea Salo on 7 August 2002 at 03:06 AM

This discussion is now closed. My thanks to everyone who contributed.

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