Tuesday 19 November 2002

The deconstructive soapy stud

When AKMA mentioned that he’d “be spending some time with Prof. Derrida next week,” the thought immediately came to mind that I should ask our learned chaplain to kick the old French fart in the shins for me (so deep is my loathing for pomo theory). Two quite different sources forced me to revise my opinion of Derrida.

The first—following a link from the comments on that post—was the essay by Christopher Norris in which he argues convincingly (to me anyway) that Derrida is not a postmodernist at all. The second, more persuasive text, was the Derrida movie (quoted by Jacob Goodson), which provides documentary evidence that the beloved philosopher does the dishes at home. A “deconstructive soapy stud” indeed. AKMA added:

If only he had the good judgment to take up blogging, we’d have a veritable supermodel for the “Sudsy Studs of Cyberspace” calendar. Speaking of which, Jonathon had better get working on the production end of it for it to be ready for holiday gift-giving. Maybe that’s what he’s up to now. . . .

I didn’t realize I’d been lumbered with the task of actually producing the “Sudsy Studs of Cyberspace” calendar. When I last checked we were bogged down on the issue of Si’s participation, given the level of nudity traditionally required in sudsy-style calendars.

But Derrida’s potential inclusion totally alters the commercial viablility of the project. Couldn’t we quickly set up a blog for him? An el cheapo Blog*Spot account would do. (I’ve just checked and derrida.blogspot.com is available—it might even be worth soliciting donations for a $5 a month Blog*Spot Plus account.)

I thought that Derrida might round out the dozen but currently the roster stands at eight (if we tone down the nudity to include Si):

AKMA, Si, Jeff Cheney, Kevin Laurence, Eric Grevstad, Steve Himmer, David Salo, myself.

Derrida would make it nine and Ray Davis has also expressed interest:

If you find your calendar one month short, I’m also an inveterate dishwasher, by the way.

Ray, your presence would be greatly appreciated, assuming you can provide photographic evidence that you are familiar with the latest dishwashing technology (i.e. a Dishmatique-style device). Derrida, on the other hand, gets a free pass—as does David Salo, even though he uses just a dishcloth and a couple of nylon scrubby pads. After all, “the guy who did the Elvish for the Lord of the Rings movies” need make no concessions to modernity.

That leaves two slots. Further nominations are eagerly anticipated (I’m hoping to hear from one of the Wealth Bondage team—the Happy Tutor or Dick Minim preferably, since not in my wildest dreams do I envisage Candidia Cruickshanks as a sudsy stud).

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Comments

Mercy sakes, we can Photoshop a Dishmatique into JD’s hands. . . .

Posted by: AKMA on 19 November 2002 at 12:11 AM

Sorry, but I scorn all mechanical aids (excepting indoor plumbing). There's no way I could maintain these biceps, abs, whatchamacallems, and pectorals except by sheer old-fashioned scrubbing with a sponge (plucked from the ocean floor myself), hour after hour, night after night. That squeegee you hear? That's elbow grease.

But in a calendar of Frenchified plastic (meaning no offense to M. Derrida), surely there's room for one blond Nature Boy?

Posted by: Ray on 19 November 2002 at 04:30 PM

Can I volunteer? My favourite gadget for washing-up is the stream cleaner Rosie just bought. It is a big tank with a heating element inside, and a long hose with interchangeable nozzzles. You can clean anything with high-pressure steam...

Posted by: Kevin on 24 November 2002 at 02:48 AM

Kevin, is there an attachment that allows you to mix a fine stream of detergent with the steam? Just kidding. I can't imagine any dirty plate or utensil that could resist high-pressure steam. You're welcome to join the sudsy studs (although you might better be called a "steamy stud").

And, happily, you've solved the problem of Ray's participation since your overwhelmingly high-tech apparatus makes up for Ray's determinedly Luddite approach.

That makes eleven. Who else is interested in sudsy fame?

Posted by: Jonathon Delacour on 24 November 2002 at 09:32 AM

I just discovered this blog and would like to say that for anyone who truly loves dishwashing, a part time job at a restaurant is an intense experience, particularly on a Friday or Saturday night. I'd consider being part of your calendar, but only if I am fully attired in a dishwasher uniform. Me naked? Too scary.

Posted by: Apronman on 28 November 2002 at 12:13 AM

This discussion is now closed. My thanks to everyone who contributed.

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