Tuesday 19 February 2002

Nobility in death

Burningbird writes:

There is no nobility in death, only in the lives we lead. Trying to make death pretty or noble hides what it really is—the loss of a life and the hurt and the pain and suffering of those who are left behind. The unfufilled potential.

That hasn’t always been my experience. My father displayed an extraordinary degree of nobility in the way he approached his death. As have certain friends whose deaths I attended. As did the men on United Airlines Flight 93, who sacrificed their lives and those of the other passengers in order to thwart the terrorists’ plan to kill hundreds or thousands in their intended target.

“Are you guys ready? Let’s roll!” said Todd Beamer. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. Or strangers. If there is no nobility in those deaths, there is no nobility in anything.

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I watched my mother die on June 29th. She was yelling and moving from side to side in her bed. I took her hand and she stopped yelling and got as quiet as a sleeping baby. I told her that I would be with her as long as she could stay here, but if she needed to go on I would understand. About 15 minutes after I told her that she just quite breathing. I don't understand I thought I would but I may never understand her having to leave me. I could not watch her last breaths I turned to the wall beside her bed and cried and stomped my feet when I new she had stopped breathing. I am trying to come to a peace with this but I just can not at this time. My mother smiled just for a second some minutes before she died. I miss her so much. I still love her and always will. She loved me more than she loved herself. I pray that she is at peace with her new life. My mothers name is Lenora Ball, my name is Paula Gordon. I am almost 50 years old. My mother was 80 June the 10th. I also lost a full term baby girl. She was still born and the doctors could find no defromaties or illnesses. She died about 12 hours before the delivery. The doctors told me that the oxegyn got cut off some how and caused her death. I went to her grave after mother died and asked her to take care of her grandmother for me. At this time I just am not able to see reality.

Posted by paula on 2 August 2002 (Comment Permalink)

This discussion is now closed. My thanks to everyone who contributed.

© Copyright 2007 Jonathon Delacour